My heart is heavy this morning as I write this. Some teens were killed in my town in a car crash. Does somebody wanna tell me how this is fair? How this is just?
I'll answer that for myself. It's not. Unfortunately, it's life. It's circumstance.
I do not believe they were "taken home." Nor do I believe in the whole "God's will" comment most people are using to deal with this tragedy. If God in fact existed, which as an Atheist, I do not believe he does, he would be an unjust God in my mind. What kind of God would allow such things to happen? God's will? I say, don't feed me that line. It's never made sense to me anyway. When you hit a deer or squash a bug on your windshield was it God's will? No, nobody ever says that. Yet we say that when it comes to humans...like we're some infinite superior being. Somehow we've rendered ourselves incapable of handling things like death and tragedy on our own.
My heart is heavy for the families and these kids' friends. But, I struggle with the whole idea of death. It's tragic yes. God's will? Not in my mind. Their time? No, I don't believe that either. It was circumstance....but, I respect people's ways of grieving....and even though I'm not family or even friends of these kids, I'm having a hard time...a hard time accepting that this world is often cruel and unjust.....
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
My journey from Christian to Atheism
This is a big blog for me. And one I'm sure might take me a while to actually write.
I'm not really sure where to start, but here it is. As a child and teenager, my parents dragged us to various churches, various religions, ect. One thing was clear: my parents didn't know WHO they wanted to be in relation to Christianty. My brother and I bounced from church to church, much like our entire lives -- bouncing from one house to another..never being allowed to make friends for the sheer reason we were never there long enough.
As a child I always believed there was a God. I just never knew in what form. We were Catholic one minute. Seventh-Day Adventist the next. Then Christian. Then Mormon. You get the idea. Needless to say, I was being fed all these different views during my formative years. I was a very confused child.
I started questioning religion when I was in my early to late teens. At that time I attended the Mormon church and even was serving as a stake missionary. And the church did not like it when I questioned them. As a matter of fact, they didn't like it when I questioned anything. When our family started going through some rough times, things fell apart for me and I laid everything on the table. And finally decided, at least for me, that I had been fed a bunch of false information all my life.
I'd be lying if I said it didn't leave a hole in my life for a while. Suddenly I went from striving for "heaven" to realizing that when you die there is this infinite dark. Nothing more. I mean, come on, what makes us any more different than a bug? A tree? A wasp? A dog? We are merely animals that, in most cases, have evolved to a more intelligent level. So do I believe in afterlife? No. Not anymore.
I do not believe there is a God.
I do not believe in heaven or hell. These beliefs are a part of my past. And nothing more than childhood fairytales that I was fed growing up.
My words may seem harsh. But this is MY blog and MY reality. These are my views. I have no problem with religion...I have a problem with it being shoved down my throat. I've been there. Done that. I played the church game. IT DID NOT WORK.
And I'm done.
I'm not really sure where to start, but here it is. As a child and teenager, my parents dragged us to various churches, various religions, ect. One thing was clear: my parents didn't know WHO they wanted to be in relation to Christianty. My brother and I bounced from church to church, much like our entire lives -- bouncing from one house to another..never being allowed to make friends for the sheer reason we were never there long enough.
As a child I always believed there was a God. I just never knew in what form. We were Catholic one minute. Seventh-Day Adventist the next. Then Christian. Then Mormon. You get the idea. Needless to say, I was being fed all these different views during my formative years. I was a very confused child.
I started questioning religion when I was in my early to late teens. At that time I attended the Mormon church and even was serving as a stake missionary. And the church did not like it when I questioned them. As a matter of fact, they didn't like it when I questioned anything. When our family started going through some rough times, things fell apart for me and I laid everything on the table. And finally decided, at least for me, that I had been fed a bunch of false information all my life.
I'd be lying if I said it didn't leave a hole in my life for a while. Suddenly I went from striving for "heaven" to realizing that when you die there is this infinite dark. Nothing more. I mean, come on, what makes us any more different than a bug? A tree? A wasp? A dog? We are merely animals that, in most cases, have evolved to a more intelligent level. So do I believe in afterlife? No. Not anymore.
I do not believe there is a God.
I do not believe in heaven or hell. These beliefs are a part of my past. And nothing more than childhood fairytales that I was fed growing up.
My words may seem harsh. But this is MY blog and MY reality. These are my views. I have no problem with religion...I have a problem with it being shoved down my throat. I've been there. Done that. I played the church game. IT DID NOT WORK.
And I'm done.
This is a challenge
I don't know if anybody reads this blog...but I do know it's a challenge for me.
Even tho this is a fairly ayon blog I'm simply not used to airing my opinions publicly. I spent a majority of my childhood fearing others, accepting what was fed to me and taking on the views of others. As I got older, I realized that it's ok to have my own views...yet even when I became an adult it took me a long time to come out of my shell.
I'm taking a stand in my life. With family. With friends. On Facebook. On Twitter. At work. Everywhere. Some people have chosen to "delete" me out of their life...it's wonderful that Facebook allows us to act like "adults." Others have chosen to accept my views, my choices and simply ME.
I do know this: I will not be fed or accept things I do not believe in. Period. I will stand up for what i believe.
but, I do accept that my budding openness is going to take time. And for that reason, this blog may be quite disjointed for a period of time until I get my sea legs.
Cheers,
Even tho this is a fairly ayon blog I'm simply not used to airing my opinions publicly. I spent a majority of my childhood fearing others, accepting what was fed to me and taking on the views of others. As I got older, I realized that it's ok to have my own views...yet even when I became an adult it took me a long time to come out of my shell.
I'm taking a stand in my life. With family. With friends. On Facebook. On Twitter. At work. Everywhere. Some people have chosen to "delete" me out of their life...it's wonderful that Facebook allows us to act like "adults." Others have chosen to accept my views, my choices and simply ME.
I do know this: I will not be fed or accept things I do not believe in. Period. I will stand up for what i believe.
but, I do accept that my budding openness is going to take time. And for that reason, this blog may be quite disjointed for a period of time until I get my sea legs.
Cheers,
I find it amazing
I find it amazing that the world is so full of intolerance to others' way of life and others' ideas.
It's utterly amazing. And I just don't get it.
And here's a news flash: I HAVE MY OWN IDEAS. My own views. MY OWN LIFE. I know it may seem strange to this increasingly intolerant world, but it's true. And I don't go shoving my views down people's throats, why do people not extend the same act of respect?
It's utterly amazing. And I just don't get it.
And here's a news flash: I HAVE MY OWN IDEAS. My own views. MY OWN LIFE. I know it may seem strange to this increasingly intolerant world, but it's true. And I don't go shoving my views down people's throats, why do people not extend the same act of respect?
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